Another week has gone by! It's been hectic, and I've still been trying to recover and learn and work on so many things all at once. Everything is just going so fast... And it won't slow until mid-December when I can finally take a breath.
Something that I have forgotten about: Spoken word. Creative writing. I miss it, I feel like I have to get re-inspired. I have this art block right now that I can't get rid of and I feel like I need to flood myself with information and inspiration and beauty and music and too many things so that my brain will be unable to handle everything. So I'll finally be able to let go of all of the worry and small things at the back of my head that just keep tugging at the corners of my mind.
It's funny, having art block while at art school. I can do the things assigned to me, (so far) but I'm unable to draw anything myself. Every time I try to just let go and draw nothing comes out. It's like my hand stops flowing and my mind locks up and I forget how to draw things. It's upsetting and frustrating and I feel like I'm just banging against the door inside my mind; I want out. My creativity wants out. I want to scream until I feel free and relaxed and ready to handle all of this. Getting sick made me feel sick and crippled and it reminded me of all of my health problems and how fragile I am. It's a scary thought. I don't want to be sick.
I need to write again, so that I can draw again. I need to create again, so that I can breathe again.
I need wings to fly.
Monday, 19 September 2011
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
First Week.
My first week of class has come and gone, and a blog post that was meant to be written Saturday will finally be written now.
My first week honestly, could have been better. I ended up getting sick the second day of class, and I drudged through the rest of my week feeling crappy and tired and generally unhappy. I struggled to finish assignments, and I usually ended up coming home right after class because I was too tired to think through what I was doing and I just kept making mistakes.
The one day that I finally started to feel better was Friday, and so Madison and I decided to still go to the opening at Ayden Gallery. I was still feeling kind of sick, but I thought I was on the path to being healthy again so I didn't mind going. It ended up being great! I met a lot of second and third year IDEA students, along with a bunch of people who graduated from the program. I learned that IDEA has a really good name for itself, better than Emily Carr has right now in illustration and design. As soon as people learned that I was a first year IDEA student, they were eager to figure out who I was, how I was enjoying it, etc. Overall, it was a good night. I love the exhibit and the artists that were featured, and as a bonus I can use the experience for my communications class.
The next morning, I woke up feeling terrible. I started coughing, felt more congested, and worse in all aspects. Both Madison and I decided to just relax the whole day, knowing that at some point we would have to hike up the trail to go do some work at school. Then, something wonderful happened! Opus called me and told me my pencil crayons were in! So Madison and I rushed to the Opus, ended up buying ourselves desk plants and old containers to put them in (Mine turned out to be a vintage italian whisky decanter, according to this random old guy in the salvation army who was a 'decanter expert' of sorts. He had his own business card and everything!) and then we headed up to the school to do some work. We stayed there 'till about 7:30, then headed home and made dinner. Sunday was more of the same, except that I woke up feeling worse but I still had to head to Granville to take pictures for a project on Vernacular Design, so yet again we bussed out to Granville, then we went to Commercial Drive. We walked down Commercial, then down Venables to the best gelato place ever, and then down to Powell to catch our bus. Basically, we walked across Vancouver whilst sick. When we got home we were both exhausted. I think that we watched Bowling for Columbine that night, and then we went to bed.
I should've mentioned that since Friday night, up until last night I haven't slept much at all. I have just been coughing way too much and I've been too stuffed up and I haven't gotten any sleep at all. So because of that, I haven't been getting any better. So finally yesterday after getting no relief I went to a walk-in clinic and got some antibiotics. Last night was the first night that I felt like I slept at all, and this morning even though I'm still sick, I think I'm on the road to recovery! If I'm feeling a bit better later on, I think I'll try to head to school for a bit to try to finish up that project for Milo (That's due today!) and to work on the very pretty little gouache piece for Fred.
I think that I'll post some picture of some stuff we did in Communications class now.
My first week honestly, could have been better. I ended up getting sick the second day of class, and I drudged through the rest of my week feeling crappy and tired and generally unhappy. I struggled to finish assignments, and I usually ended up coming home right after class because I was too tired to think through what I was doing and I just kept making mistakes.
The one day that I finally started to feel better was Friday, and so Madison and I decided to still go to the opening at Ayden Gallery. I was still feeling kind of sick, but I thought I was on the path to being healthy again so I didn't mind going. It ended up being great! I met a lot of second and third year IDEA students, along with a bunch of people who graduated from the program. I learned that IDEA has a really good name for itself, better than Emily Carr has right now in illustration and design. As soon as people learned that I was a first year IDEA student, they were eager to figure out who I was, how I was enjoying it, etc. Overall, it was a good night. I love the exhibit and the artists that were featured, and as a bonus I can use the experience for my communications class.
The next morning, I woke up feeling terrible. I started coughing, felt more congested, and worse in all aspects. Both Madison and I decided to just relax the whole day, knowing that at some point we would have to hike up the trail to go do some work at school. Then, something wonderful happened! Opus called me and told me my pencil crayons were in! So Madison and I rushed to the Opus, ended up buying ourselves desk plants and old containers to put them in (Mine turned out to be a vintage italian whisky decanter, according to this random old guy in the salvation army who was a 'decanter expert' of sorts. He had his own business card and everything!) and then we headed up to the school to do some work. We stayed there 'till about 7:30, then headed home and made dinner. Sunday was more of the same, except that I woke up feeling worse but I still had to head to Granville to take pictures for a project on Vernacular Design, so yet again we bussed out to Granville, then we went to Commercial Drive. We walked down Commercial, then down Venables to the best gelato place ever, and then down to Powell to catch our bus. Basically, we walked across Vancouver whilst sick. When we got home we were both exhausted. I think that we watched Bowling for Columbine that night, and then we went to bed.
I should've mentioned that since Friday night, up until last night I haven't slept much at all. I have just been coughing way too much and I've been too stuffed up and I haven't gotten any sleep at all. So because of that, I haven't been getting any better. So finally yesterday after getting no relief I went to a walk-in clinic and got some antibiotics. Last night was the first night that I felt like I slept at all, and this morning even though I'm still sick, I think I'm on the road to recovery! If I'm feeling a bit better later on, I think I'll try to head to school for a bit to try to finish up that project for Milo (That's due today!) and to work on the very pretty little gouache piece for Fred.
I think that I'll post some picture of some stuff we did in Communications class now.
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
First Day.
I had my first day of class today. It was wonderful. :)
First, it started with orientation, which was rather uneventful. It reminded me of highschool, and lots of important people talked about nothing and then at the first chance I got I grabbed my free lunch and went and hung out with Madison in the 2nd year room.
After that, I went downstairs and waited around for our orientation to start. Finally, at 2pm, Milo and Carol showed up. We had to read and agree to the terms and conditions, and go over expectations and things... But then we got to the fun part. The first thing we had to do was choose a desk. This was rather intimidating because whatever you got, you had to sit in for the next school year. The initial pick I got was terrible. I didn't like it at all. Fortunately there were students that were absent so I was able to sneakily choose a desk much more to my liking, and in the end it was perfect. I'm really happy with the spot I got- it's sunny and at tree level and perfect to stare out of. It seems secluded from everyone else, but it is close to the front of the class for lectures. It's really ideal. I can't wait to decorate it with fanciful things. :)
Then, we got our stuff. We started with a Nikon D3000, which is a decent camera, but not as nice as my Canon. But we got two lenses, a 50-200mm along with the typical 18-55mm. We got a camera bag, and a memory card. We then received our colour kit. We got primary colours in watercolours, gouache, acrylic, and oils. We got chalk pastels, all sorts of essentials, a beautiful block or arches coldpress, along with bristol and other pads of paper. It was lovely.
Overall my first day was really good. I'm really excited for tomorrow. :)
First, it started with orientation, which was rather uneventful. It reminded me of highschool, and lots of important people talked about nothing and then at the first chance I got I grabbed my free lunch and went and hung out with Madison in the 2nd year room.
After that, I went downstairs and waited around for our orientation to start. Finally, at 2pm, Milo and Carol showed up. We had to read and agree to the terms and conditions, and go over expectations and things... But then we got to the fun part. The first thing we had to do was choose a desk. This was rather intimidating because whatever you got, you had to sit in for the next school year. The initial pick I got was terrible. I didn't like it at all. Fortunately there were students that were absent so I was able to sneakily choose a desk much more to my liking, and in the end it was perfect. I'm really happy with the spot I got- it's sunny and at tree level and perfect to stare out of. It seems secluded from everyone else, but it is close to the front of the class for lectures. It's really ideal. I can't wait to decorate it with fanciful things. :)
Then, we got our stuff. We started with a Nikon D3000, which is a decent camera, but not as nice as my Canon. But we got two lenses, a 50-200mm along with the typical 18-55mm. We got a camera bag, and a memory card. We then received our colour kit. We got primary colours in watercolours, gouache, acrylic, and oils. We got chalk pastels, all sorts of essentials, a beautiful block or arches coldpress, along with bristol and other pads of paper. It was lovely.
Overall my first day was really good. I'm really excited for tomorrow. :)
Thursday, 1 September 2011
First Night!
It's my first night in North Vancouver...
It's been hectic. But hopefully, it will get better tomorrow. Let the birthday adventures begin!
It's been hectic. But hopefully, it will get better tomorrow. Let the birthday adventures begin!
Wednesday, 31 August 2011
Last Day.
Wow. It's been a long time since my last post. So much to say, fill in, before I go.
I was accepted to Capilano in May. I think, that after being accepted, my world just kept going, so fast that I forgot all about this blog. When you're constantly on the go, and you're rushing towards a due-date, and you're gearing yourself up for so many things, you end up crashing. And I did.
About a week after being accepted, I got ecoli. Not only did I get it (Most likely from some of the most disgusting fast food that I have ever eaten) while road-tripping around BC, I also happened to start feeling the effects of it when staying in downtown Victoria with Kier. For about three days, I was in some of the worst pain I ever felt, and I had to walk around, go on ferries, attend one crazy flat party, and then get back home. To make this story short, I ended up in the hospital for a week hopped up on morphine. It was not a fun experience.
By the time that I had gotten out, there was only a week and a half of my grade 12 year left. I was behind in almost all of my subjects, but all of my teachers gave me grace- and I was able to finish my grade 12 year successfully. But because I ended up missing so much school, it didn't really feel like it was done. That too felt rushed. I ended my month tumultuously with a crushing breakup that I didn't see coming, and then actually going with my ex to grad. And it ended up being one of the happiest nights that I had ever had. Grad couldn't have been much better.
As for Peter, we both took some time to think, and got back together about a month later. I'm happy, but nervous about the long distance part. But I think it'll be a good thing to be on my own and to have to grow a bit.
I got a job after my period of ecoli was up (After having ecoli you have to wait about a month to make sure you are clear of all toxins before returning to work) I got a job at the Jammery. It's a breakfast place. I cooked. It's pretty basic.
But in my last two weeks, I had gotten an offer to help paint murals in Creston. I went there, and I not only fell in love with the scenery and the town itself, I fell in love with the processes of murals. I learned from an amazing artist, Nadine. She's been painting murals in Creston for a while. I learned so much from her, it was a great experience. It was also nice to stay on a dairy farm, and go check the cows at night and do other fun things.
And now, I'm here. This happens to be my last day in Kelowna. I can't believe it really. Tomorrow, I'll be leaving at 5:30am and rushing off to Vancouver. I'll be unpacked and on my own by 11am. And then I'm there! And I won't be back until Christmastime.
I'm excited, really, I am. But it just feels like it's happening way too fast.
I was accepted to Capilano in May. I think, that after being accepted, my world just kept going, so fast that I forgot all about this blog. When you're constantly on the go, and you're rushing towards a due-date, and you're gearing yourself up for so many things, you end up crashing. And I did.
About a week after being accepted, I got ecoli. Not only did I get it (Most likely from some of the most disgusting fast food that I have ever eaten) while road-tripping around BC, I also happened to start feeling the effects of it when staying in downtown Victoria with Kier. For about three days, I was in some of the worst pain I ever felt, and I had to walk around, go on ferries, attend one crazy flat party, and then get back home. To make this story short, I ended up in the hospital for a week hopped up on morphine. It was not a fun experience.
By the time that I had gotten out, there was only a week and a half of my grade 12 year left. I was behind in almost all of my subjects, but all of my teachers gave me grace- and I was able to finish my grade 12 year successfully. But because I ended up missing so much school, it didn't really feel like it was done. That too felt rushed. I ended my month tumultuously with a crushing breakup that I didn't see coming, and then actually going with my ex to grad. And it ended up being one of the happiest nights that I had ever had. Grad couldn't have been much better.
As for Peter, we both took some time to think, and got back together about a month later. I'm happy, but nervous about the long distance part. But I think it'll be a good thing to be on my own and to have to grow a bit.
I got a job after my period of ecoli was up (After having ecoli you have to wait about a month to make sure you are clear of all toxins before returning to work) I got a job at the Jammery. It's a breakfast place. I cooked. It's pretty basic.
But in my last two weeks, I had gotten an offer to help paint murals in Creston. I went there, and I not only fell in love with the scenery and the town itself, I fell in love with the processes of murals. I learned from an amazing artist, Nadine. She's been painting murals in Creston for a while. I learned so much from her, it was a great experience. It was also nice to stay on a dairy farm, and go check the cows at night and do other fun things.
And now, I'm here. This happens to be my last day in Kelowna. I can't believe it really. Tomorrow, I'll be leaving at 5:30am and rushing off to Vancouver. I'll be unpacked and on my own by 11am. And then I'm there! And I won't be back until Christmastime.
I'm excited, really, I am. But it just feels like it's happening way too fast.
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Interview.
Wow, it's been a long time since I posted last. Things have been a bit hectic. I successfully delivered my portfolio to Capilano on the 27th of April, and sure enough, May 3rd, I got my call for an interview at about 4pm. I was so thrilled to hear back on the Tuesday, because by 4pm I was strung out to bits, fearing that I just wouldn't get a call.
I just got back, about fifteen or twenty minutes ago from Vancouver with my grandparents. I'll start my explanation with saying that we drove down yesterday, (Tuesday), and stayed at the Holiday Inn right around the corner from Capilano. It's a really nice hotel, however no matter how nice a hotel it is, it can't prevent my grandfather's snoring... I got a pretty bad sleep, which then felt even worse because Monday night, I fell asleep around 2:30, and woke up around 8. So this morning, I felt exhausted, and stiff. I wasn't feeling all that nervous though. I got to the university at 9:45, (my start time was 10) and Tamara (one of the nice ladies who helps coordinate the program) talked about seven of us through how today was going to work. It turned out that I had my life drawing first, then my interview, and lastly my writing test.
My life drawing turned out to be the thing I was most happy with. It was a simple arrangement, a single ornate blue vase, with flowers, a small blue jar complete with lid, and four various fruits. I had just under an hour to draw this, with willow charcoal (thank god!). I was worried that I would be given brick charcoal, which just happens to be the bane of my existence when it comes to still life. I felt like this part went really well, and I also really liked the instructor who was watching us. He reminded me of a nicer version of my current art teacher. Just before time was up, I handed mine in. Within five minutes, I realized that I hadn't completed the top of the jar. I was a bit upset about that, but overall I feel like it was a really strong drawing.
After that, at 11, I had my interview. I walked into the room, and was greeted by two guys, Shawn and Matt. They are 3rd year and 2nd year teachers respectively. I feel that it went well, but that they were a little bit awkward, and that they didn't try to elaborate on any of the questions they were supposed to ask. They weren't interested in me, and what I had to say. I think this was more because they may not have been supposed to interview... But I'm not sure. Still, nothing went wrong, and they were satisfied with my answers. Afterwards, it turned out that another girl got Frank and Sheila, which frustrated me because they were two of the instructors at the information sessions. If I had had my interview with them, I think it would've been much more successful.
The last part was the written tests. The first one was the creative thinking test, which I honestly think didn't go very well. I was nervous, and my mind just blanked. The first question was to come up with a 'creative, original, graphic' solution to three words without using words or numbers. The words were imprisoned, imaginary, and imperfect. For imprisoned I drew a pattern akin to a barcode, however not bars like a prison cell. For the second, imaginary, I drew a bunch of simple, cloudy swirls. And for the last one, I drew a curved surface with a small knick in it. I really wasn't sure of how I could portray these things any better. I'm sure in the coming days, I'll figure out a million better solutions, but for now, that's all that I could think of. The second question was really confusing. You were supposed to come up with a creative solution and examples to situations where 1+1=3 (or more). I really had no idea. I was completely stuck. I desperately drew triplets, rain, and a tree. (Mom+dad=3 babies, cloud+water= rain/thunderstorm, seed+ground= tree) As I said, desperate attempts. The last question was also frustrating. there were six half-circles, and you were told to complete them by drawing something with each that made either a central theme or a set, and to label them. I did one of the lamest things possible: I did the sunrise, sun, sunset, and moon. I really don't know why. I had some other ideas that were less lame, but would've taken up too much time as we only had 20 minutes. After that test, I felt like crying. I was really worried. Then I realized that that test was a fairly small chunk of marks. After that, there was a grammar/essay section that was timed at 40 minutes. I was relieved at that, because I whizzed through the grammar no problem, and then wrote around six hundred words in half an hour. I felt happy with that part. Then, I was done!
I felt like the whole thing just whipped past my face, I don't feel like it really happened. I was so tired, I tried to nap in the car many times... Now that I'm home, reflecting on it, I'm not sure how it'll go. Although some parts went really well, other things I don't think I can accurately judge. All I can do is wait for Monday, and hope that my phone rings. It's a scary thought. I warn the people that will be around me that I will be an utter mess, all day. Also, I'd like to apologize if some of this doesn't make any sense... I'm really not all here right now. I can't wait to sleep and go to bed tonight. Tomorrow will bring me one day closer to knowing.
I just got back, about fifteen or twenty minutes ago from Vancouver with my grandparents. I'll start my explanation with saying that we drove down yesterday, (Tuesday), and stayed at the Holiday Inn right around the corner from Capilano. It's a really nice hotel, however no matter how nice a hotel it is, it can't prevent my grandfather's snoring... I got a pretty bad sleep, which then felt even worse because Monday night, I fell asleep around 2:30, and woke up around 8. So this morning, I felt exhausted, and stiff. I wasn't feeling all that nervous though. I got to the university at 9:45, (my start time was 10) and Tamara (one of the nice ladies who helps coordinate the program) talked about seven of us through how today was going to work. It turned out that I had my life drawing first, then my interview, and lastly my writing test.
My life drawing turned out to be the thing I was most happy with. It was a simple arrangement, a single ornate blue vase, with flowers, a small blue jar complete with lid, and four various fruits. I had just under an hour to draw this, with willow charcoal (thank god!). I was worried that I would be given brick charcoal, which just happens to be the bane of my existence when it comes to still life. I felt like this part went really well, and I also really liked the instructor who was watching us. He reminded me of a nicer version of my current art teacher. Just before time was up, I handed mine in. Within five minutes, I realized that I hadn't completed the top of the jar. I was a bit upset about that, but overall I feel like it was a really strong drawing.
After that, at 11, I had my interview. I walked into the room, and was greeted by two guys, Shawn and Matt. They are 3rd year and 2nd year teachers respectively. I feel that it went well, but that they were a little bit awkward, and that they didn't try to elaborate on any of the questions they were supposed to ask. They weren't interested in me, and what I had to say. I think this was more because they may not have been supposed to interview... But I'm not sure. Still, nothing went wrong, and they were satisfied with my answers. Afterwards, it turned out that another girl got Frank and Sheila, which frustrated me because they were two of the instructors at the information sessions. If I had had my interview with them, I think it would've been much more successful.
The last part was the written tests. The first one was the creative thinking test, which I honestly think didn't go very well. I was nervous, and my mind just blanked. The first question was to come up with a 'creative, original, graphic' solution to three words without using words or numbers. The words were imprisoned, imaginary, and imperfect. For imprisoned I drew a pattern akin to a barcode, however not bars like a prison cell. For the second, imaginary, I drew a bunch of simple, cloudy swirls. And for the last one, I drew a curved surface with a small knick in it. I really wasn't sure of how I could portray these things any better. I'm sure in the coming days, I'll figure out a million better solutions, but for now, that's all that I could think of. The second question was really confusing. You were supposed to come up with a creative solution and examples to situations where 1+1=3 (or more). I really had no idea. I was completely stuck. I desperately drew triplets, rain, and a tree. (Mom+dad=3 babies, cloud+water= rain/thunderstorm, seed+ground= tree) As I said, desperate attempts. The last question was also frustrating. there were six half-circles, and you were told to complete them by drawing something with each that made either a central theme or a set, and to label them. I did one of the lamest things possible: I did the sunrise, sun, sunset, and moon. I really don't know why. I had some other ideas that were less lame, but would've taken up too much time as we only had 20 minutes. After that test, I felt like crying. I was really worried. Then I realized that that test was a fairly small chunk of marks. After that, there was a grammar/essay section that was timed at 40 minutes. I was relieved at that, because I whizzed through the grammar no problem, and then wrote around six hundred words in half an hour. I felt happy with that part. Then, I was done!
I felt like the whole thing just whipped past my face, I don't feel like it really happened. I was so tired, I tried to nap in the car many times... Now that I'm home, reflecting on it, I'm not sure how it'll go. Although some parts went really well, other things I don't think I can accurately judge. All I can do is wait for Monday, and hope that my phone rings. It's a scary thought. I warn the people that will be around me that I will be an utter mess, all day. Also, I'd like to apologize if some of this doesn't make any sense... I'm really not all here right now. I can't wait to sleep and go to bed tonight. Tomorrow will bring me one day closer to knowing.
Monday, 25 April 2011
Scared.
Two days.
That's all that I have left between me and the deadline for my portfolio. I'm scared. Whenever I come close to an important, art related deadline I tend to start back-peddling because I'm scared of being judged. This is something so important, I'm scared to have failed.
Overall, I am unhappy with my portfolio. There are some strong pieces, and lots of pieces that I personally am unhappy with. Looking back, I wish that I didn't force myself to do things I didn't want to, because now some of my pieces are lacking, and others look better because they;re things that I actually enjoy doing.
I'm really not sure how I'll take rejection, if that happens. Of course, I'll reapply next year, and stay here for a year and work (which would actually be a better idea), but staying in Kelowna would suck my love for art dry. There's no art culture here. I felt so inspired in Vancouver, yet here I have to push myself to do what I love.
I'm terrified of what the next few weeks will bring.
That's all that I have left between me and the deadline for my portfolio. I'm scared. Whenever I come close to an important, art related deadline I tend to start back-peddling because I'm scared of being judged. This is something so important, I'm scared to have failed.
Overall, I am unhappy with my portfolio. There are some strong pieces, and lots of pieces that I personally am unhappy with. Looking back, I wish that I didn't force myself to do things I didn't want to, because now some of my pieces are lacking, and others look better because they;re things that I actually enjoy doing.
I'm really not sure how I'll take rejection, if that happens. Of course, I'll reapply next year, and stay here for a year and work (which would actually be a better idea), but staying in Kelowna would suck my love for art dry. There's no art culture here. I felt so inspired in Vancouver, yet here I have to push myself to do what I love.
I'm terrified of what the next few weeks will bring.
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